


Artemis Fowl and the Forbidden Gifts

by Phoenix_The_Real_Person



Category: Artemis Fowl
Genre: Continuation of cannon, Gen, Happy Ending, I never liked Minerva anyway, Multi Chapter, Other, Past and present abusive relationships, abuse/, blood/, but everything is resolved, cursing/, gender doesn’t exist, mushy romance but also pain and suffering, self hatred/, suicidal thoughts/
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-03-28 11:59:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13903563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenix_The_Real_Person/pseuds/Phoenix_The_Real_Person
Summary: Holly is on the trail of a low level smuggler, however, when she and Foaly discover that the cargo he’s carrying is much more dangerous than they thought, they’ll need Artemis’s help to make things right. However, unbeknownst to his fairy friends, Artemis’s world has become a lot more complicated. Is there time enough to save the fairy world and put his life back together?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Heya! So this is my first ever fanfic that I’m actually publishing and I’m really excited. Fair warning this fic gets more and more intense as it goes on so it might be pushing some comfort levels. I’ll be posting longer chapters soon, but for the moment, here’s a prologue to set up a little promise to y’all that this story will in fact have a happy ending. Constructive criticism is welcomed and appreciated! I’m hoping to improve my style and voice for some of my original works so don’t be afraid to share your opinions and I’ll try to respond to you in a timely manor. Let me know if I’m missing any tags. Thanks!

**Prologue: A Word of Advice (and a bit of Devil’s Advocacy)**

 

        People say that love is, instantaneous. That you’ll see someone and think, yes, this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, this is the person who was made just for me. In reality, it takes a lot more work than that. Love is a choice, a challenge, a compromise. You’ll always hit highs and lows. Inside and outside influences will try to steal your joy. But at the end of the day, if it’s meant to be it will be.  
         Anyone single could tell you all of that easily, of course. It’s a fallacy spread by those long since married that love should be a simple joyride without any bumps or blocks. I think that’s because it’s easy to forget the struggle after the fact. I hardly remember the suffering we all went through to find each other when I see my soulmate standing in the garden, our two daughters by their side. It’s amazing that only a year ago I thought I’d lose all three of them. How times change.


	2. Look, if you didn’t install alarms, it’s kinda your fault I broke in.

**Chapter 1: Look, if you didn’t instal alarms it’s kinda your fault I broke in.**  
        Captain Holly Short was beyond exhausted at this point. Two days, for two days her unit had been chasing this smuggler! However, it looked like they were about to win the night. The trailer they had tracked the criminal to was straight ahead; and, the lights were on.  
        Of course it was too much to hope for that the trailer would be easy to break into. It didn’t look like much; but, Holly had seen some impressive surveillance systems in the most unlikely of places during her time in Recon. However, she’d also seen criminals assume it was enough to have their base look like a human dwelling to deter the LEP. It was all a matter of what type of fairy she was chasing.  
        “No surveillance equipment detected. This could be it Holly!” Foaly announced in her ear piece.  
        Holly smiled. No surveillance at all? Well this one had been fast, but apparently he was also stupider than most. She adjusted her wing-rig, dropping slowly to hover near the roof of the trailer. No agitated gnome with a ground-rider came dashing out of the front, so she figured she was safe.  
         Holly laughed into her mic. “I can’t believe we’ve finally caught up with them. Not even any security on the trailer. I can’t even believe that it’s real.” Honestly she’d expected the criminal who’d been alluding her crew for so long to have a bit of brains with him; she was almost embarrassed.  
          “Criminals get cocky, that’s when we catch them.” Foaly grinned. “I’m not seeing any secondary alarms either, looks like you’re free to go in.”  
          Holly dipped her wings again, enjoying the sound the motor made as she quickly changed direction. These next few minutes would make this entire god forsaken mission worth while. She slipped in through a window, and nearly laughed aloud when she saw the room. There were at least fifteen crates of goods stacked against the walls. The smuggler sat on a collapsing couch, plugging away on some human gaming system Foaly would probably recognize. The man hadn’t even heard her come in, the perfect set up.  
           She flew carefully to the other side of the room, blocking the one and only door. Then, she let her shield drop and rejoined the visible world with a grin. Holly settled herself against the door frame and watched, waiting for the man to notice her on his own.  
          It took him a minute, but the smuggler did notice another person had appeared in his house. He jumped off the couch and tried to make a break for the door before realizing he was in fact, running directly at Holly. He looked surprised, then glared fiercely. Holly just smiled serenely back.  
          They continued to stare at each other for a moment until the man finally heaved a sigh. “Yeah alright...you win.” He muttered. “Let’s go.”  
          Holly smirked. “Wise choice.” And then, into her headset. “Alright boys, bring the ship around. I’ve got the perp and the goods, we’re gonna need to move quick.”  
          Foaly was laughing into his mic. “My god, that was perfect!”  
          Holly grinned. “Hey Foaly, could you shut up for a second? I’m trying to talk to my crew.” The sound became more muffled, but Foaly was still chuckling at the criminal’s expense.  
          The shuttle pulled up, only a shimmering of a shield, but once you’d seen it enough times you recognized it. “Alright, let’s go!” Holly called, nudging the smuggler forward. He looked confused about where exactly he was supposed to be going, that is, until the door opened. He must have jumped three feet in the air as the space opened in the sky. This time, Holly was laughing too. “Come on, up we go.”  
           They hopped the steps up into the shuttle. A few of the men on her crew applauded her as they stepped inside. Holly did a mock bow and handed her man over to be cuffed.  
           “Don’t I get my rights?” He growled.  
           Holly smirked at him. “Something tells me you’ve heard them before.”  
           “He’s right you know, it’s regulation.” Grub muttered.  
           “Yeah? Then you do it.” Holly laughed, making her way over to the cockpit. She clapped the pilot on the back. “I’ll take it from here. Buckle up.”  
           It felt good to be on their way home.


	3. What you don't know can't hurt you, unless it can literally destroy the world as we know it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heya! So, I'm really glad I got this chapter up and running before spring break because I'm going to be at a no phones camp pretty much all of that week. This is the chapter where action really starts happening so I'm glad I'm getting it posted. This is the last chapter that I had almost entirely written before I started posting the story, so the chapter waits are going to be a little longer from now on. But, I think you guys are going to like where the story is going. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter Two: What you don’t know can’t hurt you, unless it could actually end the entire world as we know it.**

         Flying back home had been mostly uneventful, thank the gods. Holly loved field work, but coming back afterwards always made her realize just how exhausted she was. Holly glanced over her shoulder. There were her four men, Grub Kelp handling incoming information and navigation, Wick and Ferguson Glen, twins, who were around mostly to shoot things and intimidate prisoners, and her backup pilot Jessie Oaks. Holly had been hoping to get one of the dozens of new female recruits on her team, but it hadn’t worked out that way yet. Since Holly had become famous over the course of the many Artemis Fowl related adventures of the past several years, Lili Frond had slowly but surely risen through the ranks after her, and Trouble Kelp has become one of the most progressive Commanders in Recon’s history, the LEP had opened its doors to many more women in the field. It made Holly so happy to think that she had effected that kind of change, but she was hoping to meet these women and help them become better. So far, all of her interactions with the new generation of officers had been in the office, but it was only a matter of time before having two or three women to a team would be commonplace, she could wait.

         Besides, Holly had a reliable, well trained team, and they worked well together. Today, for instance. In the last two rotations of above-ground teams Holly had been forced to yell at her pilot to get his ass in gear and bring the ship over to pick up the criminal they’d been sent after for at least ten minutes. Oaks, on the other hand, had appeared almost instantly. Holly thought they’d done a good job together that day; unfortunately, things hadn’t gone as smoothly as they’d thought.

         Back in the ship, the Glenn twins had bust open a few of the crates Holly found in the smuggler’s house and discovered that each contained dozens of portable computers. That was, disturbing to be sure, if any humans got a hold of fairy computers it would be infinitely easier to discover the Lower Elements, which would be all sorts of bad. But, it looked to them like all of the cargo was there, so no harm done, right? Wrong.

***

         Benjamin Coolwood had been bouncing between illegal service ports across Europe and various trailers he’d borrowed from various humans for the past couple of decades. He wasn’t really a big name in smuggling circles. Sure, if you wanted something or wanted to get something somewhere, Coolwood was a good person to ask. But, it wasn’t as if he was some amazingly talented, infamous criminal by any means. He lived a good life a little outside of conventional means. Perhaps that was why he assumed no one in their right mind would spend two whole days on the surface tracking him down.

         He’d had a little run-in with Holly and her crew. Apparently some do-gooder citizen on vacation ad seen him leaving an uncharted port with a trolley of goods, some crappy computers he was pretty sure a few humans would pay good money for, nothing crazy. Well, a few months passed, he hadn’t had much luck with the computers but he was confident they’d sell eventually, and he was in his way to pick up a shipment of mushroom patties he was supposed to bring over to an above-ground restaurant that hadn’t really bothered with official paperwork. Well, there had been five officers waiting for him when he got there. He saw Holly and Holly saw him, but really, he was more amazed than concerned. There were people who would give their right arm to breathe the same air as Holly Short, and he got to do it for free... for about five seconds before he jumped back on his ground rider and booked it out of there.

        He’d assumed that was the end of it. He was fast, and no one knew where he was staying at any given time except himself. But, evidently, the LEP had managed to track him to the right trailer on the right day, and now he was in an interrogation room, back underground.

        “You are Benjamin Coolwood, are you not?” a glaring gnome demanded from the other side of the table.

        “Yes,” he muttered.

        “And you have been doing illegal business with several different parties over the past few decades, am I correct?” the gnome asked.

        Coolwood winced. “Look, I don’t do anything dangerous man. I give people what they need. I spread stuff around. I don’t think it’s that big a deal.”

        “You don’t think it’s a big deal.” He glowered. “Young man, you were discovered this morning with several crates full of fairy computers. I would categorize that as a big deal.”

       “They’re just bundles of old tech down here,” Coolwood laughed. “You think anyone’s missing them?”

       The other man sighed. “Perhaps to you and I the tech is obsolete. But you’ve been in the human world. On the surface these computers are cutting edge, and still connected to fairy systems I might add. You understand how dangerous they could be in the wrong hands?” Coolwood sat, blank faced, letting the reality of what he had done sink in. “All we need to know, is if you’ve sold any of those computers.”

***

        “What have we got?” Holly asked curtly.

        “Three.” The go-between huffed. “He says he’s only sold three.”

        She cringed. “That’s three too many." She turned the corner into the tech hall.

        "Foaly!” Holly yelled, throwing open the doors to his lab. “Tell me something good; tell me you can track them.”

        He barely looked up. “There’s too much interference from human systems, I can’t get a reading. Right now all we know is that three computers were sold to three customers in three locations. We know there was a deal made in France, a deal in England, and one in Ireland, if we’re lucky not to far from our ports. Honestly, just thank the gods that our man was smart enough not to trade face to face, otherwise we’d be in a crisis right now rather than soon.”

        “That’s all you’ve got for me?” Holly asked. “Three locations? I’m supposed to be happy because we’re not at war _right now_ and we’ve got a case based on three locations and nothing else?!”

        “Breathe.” He commanded. “I know it sounds bleak right now, with so little data we’ll have to call in an outside man. But, luckily, we’ve got one.”

        “Artemis.” Holly gasped. “Gods, why didn’t I think of that?” She collapsed into one of the office chairs clustered in the corner. “You’ve called him?”

        “Yes, and he’s on his way, don’t worry. We’ve dealt with worse, after all. Remember the C-Cube?” Foaly chuckled.

        “Oh, don’t remind me.” Holly groaned. “How long till he gets here?”

        “Should be fifteen minutes.”

***

        Artemis wasn’t happy to have to leave for the center of the earth on such short notice. Juliet had just brought the boys home from school, and his parents were out of town again. But Foaly had called him and known exactly what to say.

        “We’re in trouble. Gods, Holly is so upset.” At that point Artemis was already reaching for his jacket, Foaly making arrangements for a pilot to bring them down on the other end of the line.

        He was now calling over his shoulder at the door while Juliet fixed her coat and Butler gathered their bags. “The nanny’s upstairs. Be good for her please. If we’re lucky we’ll be back late tonight. I’m sorry. I’ll set up a video call with more information as soon as I can. I love you. Be good, please be good.” It was all he could do before piling out the door with the Butlers and ducking into the car.

        “They’ll be fine.” Juliet kept saying from the front seat each time he looked over his shoulder. “They’ll be just fine.”

***

        One uneventful shuttle ride by a sprite who looked very offended that he was in charge of piloting three _humans_ down to Haven. Honestly, it wasn’t all that bad, but it took far too long.

        “Where are we at?” Artemis asked as he came through the doors. It had been almost an hour since Foaly had called, Trouble, Holly, and Foaly all stood in the lab, as well as a few other officers Artemis didn’t recognize.

        “We have locations and nothing else.” Foaly sighed. “That’s why you’re here. We need you to scope out your area, and anywhere you might have influence, for the goods. They’re low-grade portables, but they’re years ahead of what most humans have ever seen.”

        Artemis frowned. “I’ll need to know what I’m looking for. Do you have anything for me?”

        “We’ve got a couple of computers from the same crate,” Holly piped up. “But that’s about it.”

        “I’ll work with whatever I can at this point. Show me.”

        One of the unnamed officers opened a cabinet and pulled out a thin sliver box with fluorescent blue and green detailing. Juliet gasped as soon as she saw it. Artemis’s eyes went wide; he looked at Juliet who nodded, and then back at Foaly. “We’ve seen one of those.”


	4. Chapter Three: I didn't lie to you; I was just lying in your general direction.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Artemis, Holly, and Chix go looking for the first computer. Trigger warning for serious injuries, mentions of stabbing, and blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry I disappeared for such a long time. Junior year kicked my ass, but I'll have more time to work on my writing now. Luckily, this chapter is just over 3,000 words, you know, like a normal fic chapter, so they'll be a little more content which almost makes up for the wait. Hopefully I'll have more regular updates now. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

“What do you mean you’ve seen them?” Hissed one of the unfamiliar fairies. “Are we trying to get our goods back from the same person who distributed them?”  
“No,” Artemis muttered, barely glancing at them. “No, Danny’s mother brought that home from work.”  
Juliet looked at him. “She gave it to Danny, who gave it to…”  
“We know where one is.” Artemis finished.  
“That’s great,” Holly said. “But, I don’t think any of us understood what just-”  
“Foaly, do you think if we got one of these computers we could use it to find the others?” Artemis cut in.  
“It’s possible,” Foaly said. “Coolwood said he used some of the computers to keep track of his next deals. If the computer you found was one of the ones he used it could have valuable information.”  
“Then we need to go get it now.” Artemis replied.  
“Fine,” Trouble said. “Take Short and Verbal. And if this is a trick, Fowl, there’ll be hell to pay.”  
“Right,” Artemis murmured. “Foaly is there any chance that these computers could be dangerous.”  
“They could attract trouble if more criminals on the surface are gunning for them.” he replied.  
“We need to go.” Juliet said.  
“Fine, no one explain what we’re doing.” Holly hissed.  
“I’ll explain on the way.” Artemis said.  
“Here, take a camera.” Foaly said, tossing a small metallic object to Juliet. “We’re with you all the way.”  
“Ok, we should go.” Artemis said.  
***  
Later, Holly flew the shuttle to the surface with Artemis, Butler, Juliet, and, unfortunately, Chix Verbal. She was trying not to think about it. “Alright, you said you’d explain. Start explaining.” She said, trying to gather her nerves for whatever they were about to jump into.  
Artemis took a deep breath. “A while back I reconnected with a man I knew from my school days, Danny.”  
“You had friends?” Chix snorted.  
Artemis smirked. “Not exactly. We had the same hatred for a certain teacher.”  
“That does sound like you.” Holly laughed.  
“Anyhow, his mother is a doctor. She operated on a man last week who was found in an alley, half-dead, holding one of those computers. No one knew what the computer was, so she offered to take it home and give it to her son to examine, and possibly figure out what it did. Danny tried, but he couldn’t get the computer to do anything, so he decided it must be something useless like a paperweight or a broken jewelry box. His mother offered to give it back, but the patient claimed he didn’t know anything about the object, and no one else at the office wanted it, so Danny kept it, and gave it to our friend Tanya. They should have it or at least know where it is.”  
"Well, we’ll have to get to them as soon as we can.” Holly said. “Do you know where they’ll be?”  
“They should be at their sister’s boyfriend’s house. If not they’ll be at Danny’s, they don’t have class today.”  
“And, why do you know so much about this person?” Chix asked.  
“Look,” Juliet shouted. “We’re about to land.”

***  
Butler sped down the highway at least ten miles over the speed limit. They were heading towards the center of Dublin at breakneck speeds.  
“And, you’re absolutely sure they have it.” Trouble was saying through they mic on the security cam the group had taken with them.  
“I’m sure they did have it.” Artemis said. “If they don’t, they’ll know what happened to it.”  
Trouble huffed. “It’ll have to do. Find the computer.” The mic clicked off.  
Holly rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry Artemis. He’s just being stupid. It’ll be fine.”  
“They… they can still hear us, you know.” Chix said.  
“Oh, I know.” she smirked.  
Just then, a robotic voice echoed through the car. “Call from: Danny Pasocci.”  
“I accept.” Artemis said from the front seat.  
“Arty?” Came a young man’s voice through the speaker.  
“I’m here.” Artemis said. “What do you need.”  
“Tanya…” Danny breathed.  
“We’re on our way to their house right now.” Artemis said. “Why, what happened.”  
“She’s not at her house right now, actually.” Danny muttered. “She’s with me.” He sounded like he might cry.  
“What happened.” Artemis asked.  
“Bella’s boyfriend... got agitated. She biked all the way over here and collapsed in the kitchen. My mom fixed her up, but she won’t talk to anyone, not even Lacy.”  
“We’re on our way.” Artemis said.  
As the line went dead the car pulled off the highway. “That didn’t sound good.” Chix said.  
“It’s not.” Artemis said in a labored voice. “But, luckily, Danny’s house is closer than Tanya’s. We’ll be there in five minutes, ten minutes at the most.”  
The car barreled towards the gate of a small neighborhood, not far from the city. Butler handed a visitors pass to the guard. “Welcome back, sir.” They turned into one of the biggest houses on the street.  
“Put up your shields and come with us,” Artemis said, stepping out of the car.  
“What are we going to do when we get in there?” Holly asked.  
“Just, trust me.” Artemis whispered. “We’ll see what’s next in a minute.” he rang the doorbell.  
“Artemis! Thank God! She’s in the den, come on.” A tired looking blond man had appeared in the doorway, Danny. “Ben’s in the kitchen making dinner. You guys can stay, but I don’t know exactly how this is gonna play out. You might need to take her home. I don’t know.”  
“It’ll be fine.” Artemis said. “We’ll see what happens.”  
“Hey Arty.” Someone called. The group swiveled around to see seven people sitting in the living room. “Thanks for coming.” A girl with a prosthetic arm and cornrows said. “Lacy’s been trying to get it out of her for half an hour, but she insisted on talking to you first.”  
Artemis smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry.”  
The only adult in the room stood up. “Jessica,” Butler said, taking her hand. “How did it go?”  
“There were a lot of cuts, but they weren’t very deep. She should recover quickly. You should go see her Artemis.”  
“Thank you Ms. Pasocci.” Artemis said. He turned and escaped down the hallway towards the den. Juliet stayed behind with her brother, embracing a tall brunette on the other side of the room.  
“Artemis, there are like ten other people here! What the hell?” Holly hissed.  
He grimaced. “Just keep your shields up. It’ll be fine.”  
Holly was about to say more, but they had just come up to a doorway. Artemis opened the door and saw, well, for a moment he wasn’t sure what he saw. A figure sat, hunched over on the floor. Their face was obscured by swelling and rows of stitches. Their arms were a lattice of bandages. But, their hair was the same beautiful purple curls Artemis remembered. “Tanya?” he breathed.  
She looked up at him, and burst into tears. “I’m so sorry.” she choked. “I didn’t know where else to go.”  
“It’s ok,” Artemis said. “You did everything just right.”  
She sniffed. “What if he followed me? What if you were here? He might have killed you.”  
“Hey,” Artemis whispered. “He’d never have been able to get in anyway. You knew what to do; you came to find me or Danny so we could help you. That’s exactly what we want you to do. You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone. Now, I’m going to ask you again. Do you want me to call the police?”  
Tanya took a shaky breath. “I-I’ve been protecting Bella for so long.” she murmured.  
“You don’t have to.” Artemis said.  
“I know, I know, I just…What else am I going to do?”  
“Let me get rid of these people for you. You’ll stay here, Ms. Pasocci has already offered to let you live here full time; and, you’re already here most of the time. Everything will be fine. You’re so, so strong. But, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to keep fighting. I’ll make it safe for you if you’ll just let me.” Artemis held her close. “Let me help you.”  
Tanya let her forehead fall softly to his chest and sobbed. “She’s the only family I have left.”  
“I know.” Artemis whispered. “Believe me, I know. But you don’t have to let her hurt you.”  
She leaned in and kissed him gently. “Alright, call the police.”  
Artemis took her hand and led her back to the living room with the others. “I think she’ll be alright now.” Artemis said. “Tanya?”  
Tanya nodded. “I’m ok.”  
Juliet hugged her as gently as she could while Artemis ducked into the kitchen to make the call. A handsome, amber skinned young man greeted him. “How’d it go?” he whispered.  
“Tanya is ok now.” Artemis replied. “I’m calling the police.”  
“And she’s letting you?” the other man gasped.  
“Yes, I think that this finally opened her eyes to just how fucked up her situation is.” Artemis said. “I’m not going to let Bella and Dominic's actions slide this time and neither is she.”  
Artemis called the local police station. He said that he heard a fight at Bella and Dominic’s place, that it had sounded violent, and that some people should get down there as soon as possible. He then stepped back into the living room.  
“I’ve just called.” he announced. “I’m going to take a fake badge and make sure everything goes smoothly when they get there. The rest of you stay here and eat, yes Butler, even you. Worst case scenario I get arrested, I’m not going to die.”  
Butler looked like he was going to argue, but instead he glanced at the space over Artemis’s shoulder where the air seemed to shimmer and then nodded. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”  
“Noted.” Artemis replied. “Now Tanya, do you remember that strange paperweight Danny gave you from one of Ma’s patients?” Tanya nodded. “Where is it?”  
“It should be on my desk.” she said. “Why?”  
“I just want to make sure nobody found it. We don’t want there to be any chance that Dominic tries to blame your injuries on one of us. As long as he can’t use any evidence, all the authorities will have is your word.”  
“I doubt he’ll try to.” Tanya said. “He still calls you my imaginary boyfriend.”  
Artemis smiled slightly. “Just to be safe.  
“Excuse me?! What the gods-forsaken D’arvit was that?!” Holly screamed as soon as Artemis had reached the end of the driveway.  
“Get in the car.” Artemis said. “We’re still in a human neighborhood, someone could hear you.”  
“Someone could D’arviting hear me, mud boy!” Holly hissed, after ducking back into the car. “I think you’re doing a hell of a job ignoring the bigger issue. Apparently you’re some girl’s imaginary boyfriend and you didn’t think to mention this to me or anyone at any point?!”  
“Not girl, Tanya is genderfluid. And, I’ve had my reasons.” Artemis replied.  
“Your reasons can get fucked!” Holly shouted. “Why wouldn’t you tell me about something this important?! I mean, they’ve obviously been abused for quite some time and none of you have done anything about it! And instead of, I don’t know, explaining the situation to me or Foaly so we could help you keep this to yourself?!”  
“It’s a lot more complicated than that!” Artemis shot back. “Tanya and Bella’s parents are dead. Tanya didn’t want Bella to have to suffer anymore after that. I tried to convince Tanya to file a restraining order but she insisted that Bella didn’t deserve that. Danny and I have had her stay at our houses for as much time as either of us could possibly manage.”  
“So what?! She still almost died! And you didn’t try to get our help at all?!”  
“Uh, guys?” Chix said.  
“Shut up Chix!” Holly hissed. “And, even if Tanya wan’t in danger, I would have wanted to know that you were going out with someone! I thought we talked to each other! What happened?!”  
“Guys!”  
Artemis sighed. “Listen, I know we didn’t handle this well, but none of us wanted to take control of Tanya’s life without taking her wishes into consideration. We can’t change what happened now.”  
Holly’s glare deepened. “And yet, you still didn’t tell me you were in a relationship at all! I should have known when you kept ignoring my calls and dodging questions you were hiding something from me! But, no, I had the gall to think you had changed!”  
“We are going ninety miles an hour!” Chix screamed.  
The car swerved two lanes, losing fifteen miles of speed before careening down the next exit. “Jesus Christ.” Artemis gasped as everyone else in a ten mile radius leaned on their horns.  
Holly took a deep breath. “I just don’t understand.”  
“I should have told you.” Artemis sighed. “It just felt like telling you about Tanya would be too much like choosing you over them. I can’t tell them… anything. About you, Foaly, Mulch, anyone. I thought if I could just keep everything separate it would be as good as… God, it was stupid. I’m sorry Holly. You had every right to know.”  
“It’s not your fault. I overreacted. It must be so hard to keep something like that from them.” Holly whispered.  
“It’s great that you two are having a heartfelt moment. But, is no one going to acknowledge we almost just died?” Chix snapped.  
“Who is he?” Artemis asked.  
“You remember that one guy I was telling you about from that stakeout mission that accidentally uncovered the B’wa Kell smuggling ring.”  
“That guy.” Artemis smirked.  
Chix smiled. “You were talking about me?” Holly smacked him in the back of the head.  
“Alright, shields up, we’re here just in time. I’m gonna go in there and pretend to be a private investigator who’s been shadowing the area. If the police start asking too many questions I need you to mesmerize them. We’re going to get in, get the computer, and get out as fast as possible.” They made for the door.  
“Hey you can’t be in here!” one of the officers shouted as soon as Artemis opened the door.  
“Wolfram Stie, Private Investigator.” Artemis clipped in a false American accent, walking past him without a glance. “I’ve been in the area, got a call saying I should check this place out.”  
The officer glared. “Well, Mr. Stie, we have everything under control here.”  
“Do you?” Artemis laughed. “Well then, who’s the victim.”  
“We, um, well we just got started.” he stuttered.  
“Right,” Artemis smirked. “Well, I’ll just take a quick look around then, shall I?”  
Artemis strode purposefully down the hall and into a small bedroom. There was hardly anything in the room, a bed, a mostly empty closet, and a desk with a few sketches; but, just as Tanya had said, the computer laid on the desktop as well. When he was sure no one else was looking he pocketed the object.  
“Someone was clearly attacked with a short-bladed knife in this room. You can tell by the pattern of the blood on the floor. The victim fled the scene out that window and escaped down the street. They weren’t followed. Have you found the attacker?”  
“Uh, we got a girl and a boy, late twenties.” the officer murmured.  
“Most likely the male then.” Artemis stated.  
“How… how can you possibly tell?” the officer gaped.  
“I,” Artemis chuckled. “Am a professional. And, anyhow, I think I have everything my client will be interested in from this case. I suggest you arrest both inhabitants immediately. I’ll be taking my leave.”  
“But, you’ve only just got here!” The officer exclaimed.  
“What more do I need here?” Artemis smirked. He left the house leading his bewildered companions behind him.  
“That was fast.” Holly said as they got back into the car.  
“Pretend like you belong some place and people will assume you do.” Artemis smiled.  
“So who’s Tanya?” a disembodied voice piped up from the backseat. Everyone jumped.  
“You were screaming about how Artemis is going out with them earlier but I didn’t really want to get involved right about then. You’ve got the computer, right?” Foaly, through the security camera they’d left in the car, they’d forgotten it.  
“We’ve got the computer.” Artemis replied. “I’ll explain about Tanya when I get back down to you. We’re just going to go pick up Butler and Jules.”  
“If you say so.” Foaly chuckled. “See you soon.”  
***  
“Alright, we’ll see you soon.” Juliet called behind her. “We love you so much we just have to check on the boys. I’ll probably come back tomorrow.”  
“Tell Arty I love him.” Tanya said, hugging her as best as she could manage.  
“Take care of yourself.” Butler whispered.  
Ms. Pasocci smiled up at him. “Same to you.” They laughed softly at each other.  
“Goodbye, see you soon.”  
Juliet and Butler walked out the kitchen door and down the driveway, pretending they were going to be picked up by car, only to loop back around to the back yard to be picked up by the fairy shuttle. Artemis smiled at them as the door opened. “One down, two to go.” He whispered. Juliet snapped her fingers into two thumbs up rather than finger guns.  
“Fucking fantastic you funky little pan boy.” she replied.  
Artemis rolled his eyes. “I hate you.”  
“I know.”  
Holly turned around to pass comment, that was, until a human figure threw themself into the fairy shuttle the moment before the doors closed. The automated takeoff launched as the figure stood up. “Stay away from him!” Tanya screamed, attempting to throw herself at Chix Verbal as Artemis caught her wrists.  
“Hey, hey, shhhh, calm down. It’s ok. I’m ok. Shhhh, don’t cry.” Artemis held Tanya close, attempting to steady her shaking form. He looked up at Holly, who’s eyes mirrored his own. There was only one emotion there, absolute panic.


	5. Chapter Four: So, do you wanna go to the library? Maybe make out?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Artemis explains how he and Tanya met. (Part one)  
> Artemis, Tanya, and Juliet meet and go out to meet some of Tanya's other friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry this chapter took so long. I've been really busy lately getting ready for senior year, but this is my longest chapter yet, so I hope you all enjoy it.

**Chapter Four: So, do you wanna go to the library? Maybe make out?**

Artemis stepped precariously down from the fairy shuttle, holding Tanya gently against his chest. Foaly stepped forward to greet them, bright grin fading as he took in Tanya’s swollen features and Artemis’s anxious expression. “What the hell happened?” he asked.

“It’s… a long story,” Artemis sighed. “A very long story. Can we talk in your office?”

Foaly took Artemis’s arm, attempting an encouraging smile at the unfamiliar human trembling in his arms. “Of course. Let’s go, before anyone else gets here.” Tanya flinched slightly.

“We’ll be fine.” Artemis assured them as the rest of his party emerged from the shuttle behind him. The group followed Foaly back into his soundproofed office.

Once everyone had sat down Foaly spoke. “So, you’re seeing a… a girl?”

Tanya took a deep breath, and appeared to calm down a bit. “Well, I was definitely a girl this morning.” They replied. “Now, I think I’m somewhere in between. Jules, you wouldn’t happen to have some…”

“Hairbands.” Juliet finished, pulling two small rings of fabric from her pocket and handing them to Tanya. “It’s something we do for Tanya.” Juliet said to the inquiring eyes. “Hair loose means she/her pronouns, one hairband means he/him pronouns, and two hairbands means they/them pronouns.” Everyone nodded.

“So, you’ve got a datemate.” Foaly amended. “I don’t think I’m alone in my saying what the actual fuck, mudboy?”

Artemis laughed weakly. “Like I said, it’s a long story.”

“We’ve got some time.” Foaly said.

“Yeah, I don’t think you’re the only one in the dark here either.” Tanya said, looking meaningfully at Artemis, apparently having apparently having pulled themself together sufficiently to realize the bizarrity of fairy intervention into their love life.

“Alright,” Artemis sighed. “So, this is Tanya. We’ve been going out for about eight months now. We, well, we met at the library.”

***

The Artemis of eight months prior was searching through his father’s bookshelves. “Butler, do you remember how long ago it’s been since my father ordered new books on bioluminescence?” Artemis asked.

“I don’t imagine it’s been his main priority.” Butler smiled. “Why can’t you just look it up?”  
Artemis sighed. “I’m going to a conference tomorrow and their company has some ridiculous notion about ‘immersive presentation techniques,’ which just means everyone leaves their phones in a bin at the door like we’re in middle school or some shit. I just want to have something with me just in case I need to, to calm down.”

Butler nodded. Artemis often saved a few articles on his phone to read through to avoid getting burned-out during meetings. There was bound to be some petty fight over small, unimportant details of a business model masked by professional jargon and people being wildly melodramatic about whether their exact wishes were being met at these types of meetings. Artemis prefered to distance himself from it; if not physically, then mentally. “Why don’t you and Juliet go down to the library, then. I’m sure you’ll find more new titles there than in your father’s office.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Artemis said. “Watch the boys for me?”

“I was just about to put a movie on for them, anyway. They won’t even know you’re gone.” Butler smiled.

“Thank you.” Artemis said, grabbing his coat. “I won’t be long.” Juliet was more than happy to drive down to the city with Artemis, though, she didn’t exactly stick around long.

“Alright, there’s this cafe around the corner I’ve been dying to try.” Juliet announced as they stepped out of the car. “Promise not to get yourself killed while I’m gone?”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Artemis smiled.

Juliet grinned. “Great, don’t tell my brother.”

Artemis let her run down the street as he opened the library doors. It was quiet, cool, and the lights were dimmed. Artemis smiled, he should really get out of the house more. He meandered around in the natural science section for a while before he noticed a very handsome young man passing through his peripheral vision. He paused at his work despite himself. The man was a tall and well-built with rosey, chestnut skin and faceted violet hair pulled up in a tight bun. He wore a white tank top with a neon-pink skull and a black leather jacket with tight, black jeans. He was absolutely breathtaking. He turned to face Artemis with a tight, false smile. “Can I help you find anything?” He asked, a little too sweetly.

Artemis winced at being caught. “Oh, I’m sorry. I was just looking around. You work here?”

The man’s smile softened a bit seeing Artemis caught completely off guard. “I do, though, I suppose I don’t really dress for it, do I? Are you looking for anything in particular.”

“Oh, I…” Artemis cursed himself mentally. Even if he hadn’t been expecting to talk to anyone at the moment, there was no reason for him to be standing here gaping like a moron. “I, I’m going to a meeting tomorrow. A, well, a rather taxing meeting. I’m just, well, I’ll just be looking for something to occupy my mind. Something, something just in case the people… people just get to be too much.”

The other man’s face had now lost its ‘customer service smile.’ He gave Artemis a genuine grin. “Ah, I know exactly what you mean. Come on, I doubt you’ll find anything like that in the 500’s. I’ll show you one of my favorite books for calming down.”

Artemis blinked in surprise. He’d never once spoken so openly with a stranger. And, he definitely hadn’t expected to feel so relieved after the fact. “Well, are you coming?” the man asked.

Artemis smiled weakly at him and followed the unfamiliar man into the nonfiction section. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, a bit shakily.

The man smirked. “Tried and true method.” he replied. “I think you’ll like this one.” He selected a tall, leather-bound book from a shelf packed with colorful volumes.

Artemis took the book from his hands. “World Mythology: A Guide to the Powerful and Mystical All Around the Globe. Really? This book?”

“You’d be surprised.” He chuckled. “Come sit down for a minute.” he said, gesturing to a small lounge area at the end of the rows of shelves. Amazingly, Artemis found himself agreeing. “So, what sort of meeting are we talking about here?”

“Well, a few scientists are talking about establishing a new offshore data house.” Artemis explained. “They launched a satellite a while ago to try and make up for those lost in the techno crash and they need some place to store the data. There’ll be a lot of people arguing and a lot of shady characters.”

“Ah, I heard about something like that.” the man said. “A friend of mine has been following the meetings. He thinks it’ll be a good idea to build the receiving station.”

Artemis smiled. “So do I. But, a lot of damn politicians are complaining that it doesn’t belong in our waters. Not really looking forward to it.”

The other man nodded knowingly. “I think the book will really help. It’s my go to when I have a panic attack at work. The stories are so unreal, they just transport you somewhere else.”

“That sounds perfect.” Artemis sighed.

“So, what’s your name?” the man asked.

Artemis’s grin widened, growing even more surprised at how at ease he felt. “You first.”

The other man laughed, and it was beautiful. “Alright then. My name’s Tanya, and you?”

“Artemis.” He said. “Artemis Fowl.”

The two smiled at each other. “Well, I have to get back to work soon. But, can I get your number.” Tanya asked.

“Oh, of course.” Artemis typed ten digits into Tanya’s phone quickly and handed it back. He smiled warmly back at Artemis. “It was great meeting you.”

Artemis was about to respond when a loud voice sounded behind him. “Hey Arty!” He spun around. Juliet was back from the cafe.

Tanya’s face fell. “Oh, is this your…”

“His maid, nanny, surrogate sister, and apparently chauffeur.” Juliet cut in. “Hey genius,” she muttered, rapping her knuckles on the back of his head. “It’s been forty five minutes. Are we going home or what?”

“Oh shit, has it really been that long?” Artemis murmured. “Sorry, Jules. I have to check this out and then I’ll meet you at the car.”

“Alright nerd, but hurry up about it.” Juliet laughed.

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Tanya asked as Artemis walked up to the check out where an older woman was observing them amusedly.

“You might.” Juliet replied. “You ever been to Egypt? Mexico?”

Tanya wrinkled his nose. “No, that’s not it. Were you ever on TV?”

“Oh, yeah, for sure.” Juliet laughed. “I was The Jade Princess.”

“That’s it!” Tanya announced. The woman at checkout hushed him. “I loved your matches. Where’d you go?”

Juliet grinned. “Ah, now I watch his little brothers. I like it better that way. I’ve missed my damn nerd.”

“You’ve known each other for a long time?” Tanya asked.

“Since I was born.” Artemis replied, returning to their conversation. “She’s been annoying me for as long as I can remember.”

Tanya laughed. “Well, I really need to get back to work now, but I’ll text you later, Artemis. It was great meeting you both.”

Juliet’s smile had morphed into more of a mischievous smirk at that statement. “I’ll tell him to give me your number. We’d really better go home.”

“Alright, see you around.” Tanya said. “You’ve got to promise to bring that book back on time, though. I’ll need it.”

“Same time, day after tomorrow.” Artemis said.

“I’ll see you then.”

Juliet effectively lost her mind as soon as they got to the front steps of the building. “You got a guy’s number!” She shouted, punching him too-hard in the arm. “And you’re going on a date!”

Artemis rolled his eyes. “Oh, for God’s sake. I’m returning a library book you moron.”

“Whatever. Oh, maybe he’s got a hot sister you can set me up with.” Juliet laughed.

Artemis stepped into the car. “You’re horrible.”

“I know.” Juliet grinned. “Now, give me his number. I’m gonna be your wingman.”

“In your dreams.” Artemis laughed.

The twins had finished their movie by the time Artemis and Juliet got home. They tackled the unsuspecting pair at the door asking where they’d been and why hadn’t they taken their ‘favorite boys’ along. Butler gave them an ‘I warned you’ smirk.  _ But, it was worth it. _ Artemis thought.  _ It was so worth it. _

***

Tanya got off his shift a few hours after meeting Artemis, but he didn’t really get much work done for the rest of the day. He was too busy thinking about the handsome, elegant young man that had burned an imprint into his life.

He had been so off-balance during their whole meeting, quite clearly nervous about what was being expected of him and caught off guard by someone offering to help him. And, yet, he’d managed to sound so intelligent throughout. He reminded Tanya of Danny in that way, nervous and jumpy but still the smartest person in the room. He was Danny but dark and good-looking.

And then, he had been completely unfazed by his friend coming in and interrupting. Anyone who could keep up with the Jade Princess, Juliet apparently, for all those years was definitely someone worth getting to know.

Tanya had heard crazy stories about the Jade Princess disappearing from a wrestling match in Mexico with some kind of psycho super-fighter. Any guy that was friends with that kind of cryptid was hella cool, in Tanya’s opinion. How he had lucked out and met someone like that, he had no idea.

“Why don’t you head home now, dear?” Nellie said from behind the checkout counter. “You’re obviously in your own head. I can close up.”

Tanya smiled. “Thank you, Li. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He bounced down the stairs and grabbed his bike from the rack. He rode two blocks down to a rundown movie theater where Danny and his Ma were waiting for him in their car. “Hi, honey.” Ms. Pasocci greeted him. “How was work?”

“It was really good. I got to recommend a book today.” Tanya smiled.

“Oh that’s wonderful, sweetheart.” she said.

“What was it?” Danny asked.

“I showed that mythology book I use to calm down to this really cute guy and he checked it out.” Tanya said. “We talked for a while. He seemed nice. He’s going to that conference tomorrow about the satellite you were talking about.”

Danny grinned. “No way! Did you get his name?”

“Uh, yeah. It was something weird, hold on.” Tanya turned on his phone. “He gave me his number. Um, Artemis Fowl. I guess that’s part of the reason I immediately thought of the mythology book, huh?” Danny gaped at him. “What? What did I do?”

“Are you kidding me?” Danny said. “Artemis Fowl? That guy went to my school. He’s such an asshole.”

“What, no!” Tanya gasped. “He was such a sweet guy.”

“No, no way!” Danny said. “Man, you should have seen him antagonize Mr. Phyll. He’s vicious.”

“You hated Mr. Phyll.” Tanya laughed. “You said it was hilarious when people messed with him.”

Danny winced. “Yeah, but Artemis, he was something else.”

Tanya rolled his eyes. “Was he? Or, was he just smart enough to keep up with you and now you’re overreacting? You’re my best friend it’s not like I’m gonna ditch you or some shit.”

“It’s not that, I just think he’ll say something really rude to you. He’s just a jerk.” Danny said.

“Please. How long’s it been since you’ve actually talked to him?” Tanya asked.

“Well,” Danny winced. “I didn’t really know him  _ that _ well.”

“Exactly,” Tanya laughed. “You don’t have to protect me. Everybody was a jerk in high school. I’m still gonna text him.”

“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Danny huffed.

Tanya rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever. Jealous much?”

“Yeah? Fuck off.” Danny laughed. “Do whatever you want, your worship.”

Tanya shoved him. “Thank you. I will.”

“Will you two speak kindly to each other, please.” Ms. Pasocci sighed.

They laughed. “Sorry Ma.” They said in unison.

Tanya smirked at his best friend. He was the best, but he worried way too much. Even though Danny thought it was a bad idea for some dumb reason, Tanya pulled out his phone as soon as he got up to the Pasocci’s guest room that had basically become his bedroom.

_ Hey Artemis its Tanya! Save my contact plz _

_ Hello, Tanya. Thank you for contacting me. _

_ Np What are you doing _

_ Not much, at the moment. I just finished dinner. _

_ I’m trying to make sure my brothers eat something  _

_ other than candy today. _

_ Lol I’m sorry that sounds exhausting _

_ Perhaps, but it’s worth it to know that they’re taken _

_ care of. _

_ That’s so sweet! Omg I bet you’re an _

_ awesome big brother _

_ I try my best. Do you have any siblings? _

_ I’ve got an older sister but she’s kinda a _

_ bitch. You wouldn’t like her _

_ That is unfortunate. But, it reminds me, Juliet _

_ wanted me to send you her number, as well. _

_ Lol thaaat reminds you huh? _

_ Yes, but not for the reason you think. _

_ Lmao man you’re too much _

_ (555)103-6775 _

_ Cool thanks I’ll text her later _

_ I’m sure she’ll be glad. _

_ Have you looked at the book yet or saving _

_ it for later _

_ I’ve looked at the first few stories. It _

_ certainly is interesting. The art is lovely, _

_ as well. _

_ Lol I’m glas you like it it’s one of my faves _

 

_ *glad sorry _

_ I have enjoyed it so far. Thank you. _

_ It’s np you seemed like you needed it _

 

_ Shit I’ve gotta go time for me to have dinner now _

_ Alright, I suppose I will speak with you at a _

_ later date. _

_ Yeah ttyl thnx for chatting with me _

_ Have a good rest of your night. _

_ U too man _

 

Tanya sighed happily. He had no idea what Danny was talking about. Artemis seemed like such a sweet guy. Danny was just airing dirty laundry from years ago; that wasn’t good for anyone. Tanya knew better. He was going to live in the moment. Not just because he was really starting to crush on Artemis and he didn’t want Danny to ruin that. No, he was taking the high ground. He had good moral philosophy.

“Tanya, come down for dinner! Ve and Evan are here!” Ms. Pasocci called.

Alright, moral philosophy could wait, it was time to eat. “I’m coming!”

***

Artemis’s heart was pounding. He had such a simple, short conversation with Tanya, and yet, it felt like the planets aligning. Oh! Oh no! This was the same thing that had happened with Minerva wasn’t it. Goddamnit! Dr. Argon had warned him that he might be in a vulnerable emotional state after coming back to life and getting his memories back a few months ago. But, this! This was just rich.

Artemis looked up to see Juliet smirking at him. “Look Arty, the boys ate their dinner.”

Artemis glared back at her. “Good job you two! Come give me a hug.” The twins ran up to him, effectively blocking Juliet from view, which was convenient, because Artemis didn’t want to deal with her right now. “You have about half an hour to play before it’s time to get ready for bed. You should go find something to do.”

Becket smiled. “Ok Arty. We love you!”

“I love you boys too. Go on now, I’ll come find you in a little while.” Artemis let them run off and Butler stood up to clear their plates.

“So, who were you texting with?” Juliet asked.

Artemis sighed. “I think you know the answer to that question.”

“What’s this?” Butler asked grabbing the plate out from in front of Artemis. “Who are you talking about?”

“Artemis met a cute guy at the library today and he gave him his number.” Juliet said.

“That’s wonderful!” Butler replied, walking into the kitchen with the plates.

“Yeah sure.” Artemis muttered.

Butler frowned. “What’s wrong, Arty.”  
Artemis put his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do. I’m just not good at these things.”

“You seem to be doing fine right now.” Juliet remarked. “Here, show me the conversation.” Artemis slid his phone over to her. 

“Ok, let’s see. He texts you first, that’s always good. Immediately directs the conversation towards your life; so, he does want to get to know you. He’s not just being shallow. He compliments you; that’s cute. You asked him a question, solidifying your interest. Good call, good call. He’s honest with you right away. That’s a good sign. Oh you jerk! You exposed me!” Artemis smirked.

Juliet ignored him in favor of finishing the conversation in front of her. “But, he thinks you’re funny that’s very good. Dismisses me and continues the conversation with you. He really likes you, Arty. I haven’t met a fan yet that wasn’t over-eager to strike up a conversation with me regardless of the situation, so clearly you’ve grabbed their attention big time. He hasn’t even texted me yet at all. He then jumps on asking about you again, and he wants to create a connection between the two of you by sharing something he enjoys. He’s eager to tell you how happy he is that you’ve made that connection, so eager he makes a simple spelling error that he then corrects immediately afterward so you don’t think he’s dumb. He’s upset that the conversation ended somewhat unnaturally. And he takes the time to make sure he returns your good wishes. Damn, I think he really likes you! You did good.”

Artemis gaped at her. “How could you possibly get all of that from that conversation?”

“Love is my muse.” Juliet chuckled. “That’s why I’m your wingman.”

“Oh for God’s sake!” Artemis huffed.

“What? I helped you, didn’t I.” Juliet grinned.

Artemis rolled his eyes. “Well, you don’t have to be such an ass about it.”

“Could you two please be nice to each other?” Butler sighed.

Juliet smiled apologetically. Artemis just gave her a dead stare. “Alright, I’m going to go find the boys before they have to go to bed.” he announced.

“Why, because you  _ can’t stand _ me?” Juliet whined.

“That,” Artemis smirked. “And, because I want to.” He left with Juliet laughing behind him.

The next afternoon, Artemis pulled out his phone.

 

_ Hello Tanya. I just got out of this morning’s meeting. _

_ That’s great how’d it go _

_ It was bearable. Most likely because I was reading _

_ the whole time. It was decided we will, in fact, be _

_ building the data house, to my great relief. _

_ Lol that’s great! It’s a good thing they saw _

_ your side  _

 

_ Did you like the book _

_ The book was excellent. You were right, it kept _

_ me out of my own head. _

_ Lol told ya _

 

_ Do you have a favorite character? _

_ I thought Odin, Athena, Anansi, and the Hunters _

_ of Artemis were all very interesting. _

_ Yeah Athena and Artemis are a couple of my _

_ favorites too I’m really glad you liked the book _

_ Yes, it was great. I’ll see you when I bring it back _

_ tomorrow, correct? _

_ Definitely _

 

_ Do you maybe want to go somewhere afterwards _

_ A few of my friends are gonna go to this cafe  _

_ around the corner from the library do you want to _

_ come _

_ I believe I’ve heard of the place. I’d love to come _

_ with you, although, Juliet might decide to join us. _

_ Yeah that’s cool the more the merrier _

_ Thank you. I’ll let my family know we’ll be gone. _

_ Sweet I guess I’ll see you then _

_ Yes, I look forward to it. Unfortunately, I have to go _

_ now. It’s my turn to pick the boys up from school _

_ so I’ll be driving for a while. _

_ Ok ttyl _

 

Artemis grinned. Despite his… misgivings about his feelings for Tanya, it felt good to talk to him. He seemed to understand why things would sometimes overwhelm Artemis; and, he was smart enough to know how to help. He was genuine and enthusiastic. He held strong opinions. Artemis was starting to trust him, perhaps, against better judgement. But, still, it would be of some comfort to have someone so understanding to talk to.

Artemis took the boys home, and didn’t even cringe at the sight of his old school building. Back when Artemis had attended, St. Bartleby's had been a boarding school; but, now it only ran during the normal school day, much to Artemis’s relief. He felt calmer than usual after talking to Tanya, and very glad to pick up his little brothers. He even told Juliet about the invitation to the cafe without making himself panic.

“So, he asked you on a date and your first thought was to invite me along?!” Juliet cried. “What were you thinking?”

Artemis sighed. “I realize that it is not ideal. But, do you honestly think Butler would let me out of the house without you?”

Juliet withered. “Alright, that’s a good point. We just need to get you two alone somehow.”

“He already said that some of his friends would be coming with him to the cafe.” Artemis said. “I don’t think this is a ‘get me alone’ kind of situation. He was just being nice. He’s a nice guy.”

“Yes,” Juliet said. “But you don’t  _ know _ that. What if he just said that he was going to meet with some friends, and then when you guys got there he’d be like ‘Oh, none of my friends showed up. Oh well, I’m sure glad  _ you’re _ here.’”

“We’ll see.” Artemis snorted.

“I’m serious.” Juliet insisted.

“Alright, alright.” Artemis laughed. “You can be serious if you also shut up.”

Juliet rolled her eyes, but she didn’t press the issue. “Alright, well, I’ll tell Butler that we’re going to be out for a while tomorrow if you help the boys with their homework.”

“Done.” Artemis said.

***

The next morning, Tanya couldn’t be more excited. They had been looking forward to seeing Artemis again since yesterday. They were too giddy to think straight. They threw on a pastel pink sundress with a plum belt and purple converse. They put their hair up in two buns so that everyone would know they were agender that day. And, they bolted out the door, breakfast in hand. It wasn’t until they had been at work for fifteen minutes that they realized they were a complete idiot.

When they had met Artemis they were a man. They had dressed like a man, they had been wearing a binder. Now, they were wearing a dress, and weren’t wearing a binder, and they weren’t a man. Tanya wasn’t ready to discuss the whole genderfluid thing with a guy they’d met once and texted with twice.

They supposed they could lie. Oh no, I’m totally a guy I’m just wearing a dress and fake boobs for a social experiment. You know, the whole, ‘Do women really have problems?’ kind of social experiment someone does every other month. But that was such a shity, gross excuse; and, Tanya really didn’t want to lie to Artemis. They’d have to tell him they were genderfluid. Tanya wouldn’t even want to go out with him if he couldn’t handle that.

Wait? Go out with him? Going out with Artemis wasn’t even on the table right now. They were barely even friends!

Tanya felt themself starting to panic and wished that World Mythology was still on its shelf. “Nellie, I’m going to go in the back for a minute to take a breather. I’ll be right back.”

Nellie studied their face for a moment. “Alright dear. Take all the time you need.” She smiled.

Tanya nodded gratefully and ducked into he back room. ‘The back room,’ as it happened, was an employees only janitorial closet; but, Tanya didn’t mind so long as they had someplace quiet to calm down. They breathed in the chemical-laced air in unsteady gasps, begging themself to keep it together.

After awhile they felt unburdened enough to come out, or maybe they were just high off the fumes, but it didn’t really matter. If they didn’t get to work now, they’d never work up the strength. Tanya set to work reshelving a cart of books. It would still be a few hours before Artemis came to see them; for now, they could pretend like everything was normal.

***

Artemis took a deep breath before pushing open the doors to the library. Juliet trailed behind him trying her best not to look too excited. Artemis was excited too, so much so he’d hardly slept the night before; but, still, he was really starting to get sick of the giddy looks she kept giving him. He was too tired and too nervous to deal with her presumptuous notions.

If Artemis was honest with himself, he really did want things to work out with Tanya. He was afraid to let down his guard around anyone in his current state, weak and over-emotional after returning to life in a body that wasn’t fully his own; but, still, Tanya seemed like a kind, trustworthy individual.

And, he’d been warned on several occasions to stop isolating himself. Holly especially had become very worried about him; but, then again, he wasn’t sure he’d be telling his fairy friends about whatever sort of relationship he might have with Tanya any time soon. It would be absolutely mortifying to have them watching if things went awry.

Well, regardless of any of his friends’ feelings, he was jumping into today’s meeting nervous and excited as ever.

He scanned the library, but he couldn’t see Tanya anywhere. For a moment Artemis was even inclined to believe that Tanya was avoiding him. But, then, Artemis spotted Tanya’s telltale violet curls sticking out from behind a bookshelf. He came around to Tanya’s side of the shelf and saw them in a pastel pink dress at the top of a shelving latter. They looked beautiful, but Artemis couldn’t say he wasn’t surprised. “Tanya? Hi, I’m here!” Artemis called softly.

Tanya started slightly and climbed down to meet them. “Hey, Artemis. Juliet. Umm, I’m glad you came. Would you like to sit?”

“Sure,” Artemis smiled. “I just don’t want to keep you from your work.”

“No, it’ll be fine.” Tanya said. The three of them moved over to a small lounge area. “I guess I should explain.” They muttered.

Artemis raised an eyebrow. “Explain?”

“It’s just,” Tanya sighed and stared down at their hands. “When you met me I was a guy. But, a lot of times I’m not. Sometimes I’m a girl. Right now I’m neither. I’m genderfluid. I, I wish this had come up naturally but I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was wearing this morning and then I realized that you didn’t know. I’m sorry to dump this all on you, but…” They were beginning to hyperventilate.

“Hey, calm down.” Artemis said. “I get it. Gender is complicated and really dumb sometimes, it’s fine. I started on T when I was nine, actually. I get it.”

“We’re cool, honey.” Juliet added.

Tanya stared at them in a mixture of shock and relief. “Oh my god. Thank you so much; I was like, freaking out this morning.”

“It’s all good.” Juliet smiled. “Well, now that we’ve had a heartfelt moment, can I ask how long you’re going to be working?”

“Oh, yeah, I’ve got three hours left on my shift. You don’t have to stay the whole time.” Tanya said.

Juliet nodded. “Actually, that’s perfect. I’ll hang with you guys for about fifteen minutes and then I’m gonna pop over to the movie theater a couple blocks down because I promised my boy Adande that I’d see this new action movie with him or whatever. By the time I come back there’ll be like thirty minutes before we’re all meeting up at the cafe so we can help you close the place up and head over to the cafe for dinner. That sound good?”

“That sounds great, actually.” Tanya laughed. “Have fun.”

Artemis sighed internally. Juliet had come up with some excuse to leave him alone with Tanya, just like he had told her not to do.

Juliet seemed entirely convinced that if he and Tanya could spend enough time together Tanya would want to pursue a relationship with him. Artemis felt like screaming at her, honestly. She didn’t understand how absolutely disastrous, not to mention panic inducing it could be to be left to his own devices in a situation like this.

Frankly, he didn’t trust himself alone with Tanya. He’d already admitted to them that he had trouble getting through business meetings without panicking and that he was transgender in the span of three days. Tanya was beginning to know him better than they had any reason to. Artemis’s mind was running away with him and he really had no idea what he would say next. For possibly the first time in his life he was acting completely irrationally.

He wanted to beg Juliet to stay just so that he had a grounding influence; but, Tanya had already agreed to let her leave, and even Artemis, tactless as he could sometimes be, could see how rude it would look if he insisted on changing their plans. So, instead, he sat and listened as Juliet and Tanya discussed the many different techniques Juliet had used during her days as the Jade Princess and the style choices that had gone into her costume.

“Well, I’d better be heading out now. I don’t want to be late.” Juliet announced.

“Ok, have fun.” Tanya smiled.

Artemis grabbed her hand. “Come back safe.” The look he gave her, however, said come back soon.

“I’ll be perfectly fine.” Juliet smirked, her eyes saying make me. Artemis tried not to glare as she walked away.

“You’ve been awfully quiet.” Tanya said.

Artemis snapped back to reality. “Sorry, I’ve been in my own head a lot lately.”

“You’re good.” Tanya smiled. “Well, it’s a slow day, but I’ve got a couple carts left to reshelve. Do you want to keep talking while I take care of them?”

“Sure, I can help, as well.” Artemis said.

“That’d be great. Come on.” The two walked to the back of the building, each pulling a cart of books over to the shelves. “You know how to do it?” Tanya asked.

“I’m familiar with the system, yes.” Artemis replied.

They worked in silence for a few minutes. “So, what do you usually do?” Tanya asked.

“My father and I work together. We cooperate with several different industries which means I’m often traveling for different conferences.” Artemis explained. “It can be quite taxing; but, I believe what we do is worthwhile.”

Tanya smiled. “That sounds great.”

Artemis nodded. “And, what do you do outside the library?”

“Oh, well, I study geology. I’m in my second year of college right now. I usually stay with my friend Danny and his mother or with my sister and her boyfriend.” Tanya said.

“That sounds nice.” Artemis smiled.

They worked together for quite some time. Talking mostly about Tanya’s classes, books they enjoyed, and what they liked to do in the city. Soon all the books were back in their places.

“Man, it’s been a little longer than an hour.” Tanya said. “Thanks for all your help today. Usually two full carts would have taken me a lot longer.”

“It’s not a problem.” Artemis smiled.

“Juliet should be back in about fifteen minutes.” Tanya remarked, glancing down at their watch. “I guess we can just chill till then; we’ll start closing up when she gets back.”

Artemis nodded. “That sounds good. I’m sure she’ll have plenty of stories to tell when she gets back.”

Tanya raised an eyebrow. “How so?” They asked.

“Seems like everytime Juliet goes out, something quite ‘unbelievable’ happens.” Artemis smiled softly. “Trust me, she’ll tell us all about it as soon as she gets back.”

Tanya laughed. “Are you two close?”

“Yes, we are now.” Artemis said. “We were very close when we were young. We were almost always together, in fact. We had a bit of a falling out when she first started training to be a wrestler. I suppose I was afraid of her leaving. But we reconnected a few years ago while the twins were very young. I think we understand each other a lot better now. We’re not quite so connected at the hip anymore, but I think we communicate better now.”

“Oh yeah, that’s often how it happens.” Tanya agreed. “I think it’s great you’ve made that effort to stay connected as adults. That’s what really counts, you know?” Artemis nodded. “I wish I was closer to my sister.”

“What happened between the two of you?” Artemis asked.

Tanya chuckled slightly and waved the question away. “Oh, you know, she’s got a serious boyfriend. She’s just concerned with bigger things than me at the moment. That’s just how it goes sometimes.”

“I suppose.” Artemis muttered, but his eyes became slightly suspicious.

“Tell me about your brothers.” Tanya interrupted. “You’ve mentioned them before.”

Artemis brightened immediately. “Beckett and Myles.” He laughed. “Oh, they’re wonderful. Myles is our little scientist. He always wants to ask questions. We’ve made him a little play lab. He builds with magnets and then puts books on top of his buildings to see how much weight they can hold. And, he’s got all these books about identifying native plants and animals; and, he’ll lug them out into our yard and point out all these birds, ferns, and trees. It’s so cute! He’s also got this toy monkey that he’s had since he was three that he just loves. He dresses it up in this little coat so that it can be his lab assistant. I made it a voice box so that it can interact with him. It’s got a bunch of phrases that it does and he just loves it so much. It’s adorable!”

Tanya was absolutely beaming at this point.

“He usually stays near me or Jules, you know, he wants someone to ask all of his questions to. And really, he’s such a good kid. He’s a great student and he always wants to help out. I love him so much.”

Tanya stifled a laugh as Artemis began to gesture more wildly.

“And then, Beckett, he is just the sweetest kid! He’s very active. He loves to run around and just be outside. He’s definitely the more independent of the two. He wants to go out and find adventures. He likes to play pretend. He’ll take a whole bunch of stuffed toys in his wagon and drag them out to the woods around the property. They’ll be his knights that he’s leading off to war or to battle a great dragon, or they’re ninjas, or they’re his students going off into the enchanted woods to learn magic, anything really. He likes spending time with Juliet. He says he wants to be a wrestler when he grows up, too. Now, I’m not too sure about that; but, for now, he’s getting his energy out and I’m grateful for that. 

He also really likes bugs; he’s just fascinated by them. It’s wonderful, because he’ll catch all the cool bugs he sees on his walks in jars and he’ll show them to Myles. And, Myles will take out his big big identification book and they’ll look and see what kind of bugs Beckett found. It’s a great way for them to bond. You know, they’ve found something they both enjoy. It’s just wonderful to watch. I mean, they’re just so different, but they…” Artemis’s voice dried up as he realized just how long he had been speaking.

But, Tanya was still leaning forward, eyes bright and smile wide. “It’s alright, keep going.”

Artemis laughed. “I think I’ve said plenty. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’ve been talking so much lately. I’m not usually like this.” The same anxiety Artemis had felt earlier that evening returned. Why on earth was he speaking his every thought to this person? He was so used to speaking in a calculated manner, avoiding saying potentially dangerous around anyone potentially threatening. But, there was something about Tanya that made him feel safe enough to speak his mind without reservations. That hadn’t happened in so long.

“Don’t worry about it.” Tanya smiled. “You like to brag on your siblings; I think that’s great.”

“I guess I’m just used to some slightly different company.” Artemis shrugged.

“What kind of company?” Tanya asked.

“Just the kind of people who are exhausting to talk to.” Artemis sighed. “Closed-minded people.”

“And, am I exhausting to talk to?” Tanya asked.

“No,” Artemis smiled. “It’s more the whiny, entitled CEOs who tire me out.” They both laughed at that.

At that moment, Juliet walked back into the library. She came up behind their chairs, followed by the man from the movie theater. “Hey, look at you. You guys have fun while I was gone?”

“I think we had a great conversation.” Tanya said with a smile.

“That’s great.” Juliet smiled. Her eyes found Artemis’s.  _ Did you?  _ they asked.

“It was.” Artemis agreed. He had a smile in his eyes.  _ We did.  _ They told her.

Juliet beamed. “Well, this is my friend I told you about. He’s meeting people at the cafe tonight too, so I said we could all walk over together. I hope that’s ok.”

Tanya smiled and they and Artemis stood up. “Yeah, sure, no problem. Oh, hey! Adande, it’s you!”

Adande laughed. “Hey, Tanya. I thought it was you. You know Juliet?”

“We just met a couple days ago, actually.” Tanya said. “I invited her and Artemis to come hang out with us tonight.”

“Artemis?” Adande’s eyes caught Artemis’s and his smile stretched. “Oh man, you’re Juliet’s brother, right? It’s so great to finally meet you!”

Artemis laughed. “Well, more or less.” He replied.

“We’re as good as brother and sister.” Juliet added.

“That’s great.” Adande smiled. “Well, I’ve met your brother; and, now that you’re chilling with us, you’ll get to meet my sister. So, we can be older siblings buddies!”

Juliet high fived him. “Nice!” she cheered.

Tanya smiled at their antics. “Well, it’s almost time to go. I’m gonna grab my stuff and make sure everything is cleaned up so we can get going.”

“I’ll help.” Artemis blurted without really thinking about it.

“Sure, come on.” they waved him over.

“Does your brother have a crush on Tanya?” Adande whispered as they walked away.

“Oh, he definitely does.” Juliet said.

***

The small group laughed comfortably as they walked over to the cafe.

“Gabriella’s Place.” Artemis read aloud. “Have you been here before?”

“Yeah, it’s only been open for a few months but it’s already become my group’s favorite spot.” Tanya said.

Adande grinned. “It’s amazing, man.”

They came into the quiet cafe. It wasn’t very busy except for a large booth at the far end of the room that was chock full of people.

“Hey Danny!” Tanya called.

A young man with strawberry blonde hair and small, green eyes looked up. “Hey, Tanya! Adande! Come sit the hell down!”

The two friends grinned and pulled Artemis and Juliet along behind them as they ran to the booth.

“You guys order yet?” Adande asked.

“I got a couple things for the table.” Danny responded. “But, you can still order some more stuff when the waitress gets back.”

“If the stuff we got isn’t good enough for you.” someone added from behind Adande.

Before he could turn the person flung themself onto his back and threw their arms around his neck. Adande huffed in annoyance and looked up at Juliet. “Jules, this is my little sister, Marna.”

Marna grinned at them. “Sup.” She had a bright, beautiful smile, long hair braided into cornrows and tied back in a bandanna, and a slightly bulky looking prosthetic arm on her right side.

“Sup, Marna.” Tanya laughed. They fist bumped over Adande’s head.

“Pull up a chair!” Danny called, and the group of four snagged their chairs from the nearby tables and sat opposite the seats of the corner booth as Marna reclaimed her previous seat.

It was then that Artemis noticed the angry, suspicious looks Danny was shooting him. Artemis cringed internally. He had no idea what he had done to offend Danny; but, he knew there were a million possibilities. Time to try an old trick. Artemis put on his best ‘business meeting voice.’ “Excuse me, sir. Danny, right?” the other man looked up. “You look very familiar. Have me met before?”

Danny’s glare hardened. “We both went to St. Bart’s.” He muttered.

_ Fuck.  _ Artemis thought.  _ Of all the things he could have possibly said… How do I fix this?  _ But, aloud he said: “Oh, that’s wonderful. What classes were we in together?”

“Just chemistry with Mr. Phyll.” Danny replied.

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck!  _ Artemis had been particularly heinous towards Mr. Phyll. No one had liked him, his teaching was ineffective, he was unspeakably rude (especially to female staff members), and he seemed to take no greater pleasure than in screaming at and shaming students for minor infractions in his classroom. That being said, Artemis was one of the few people who knew just how terrible a man Mr. Phyll truly was. Perhaps that why most students contented themselves to causing general mayhem in his classroom, but were horrified when Artemis tore the science teacher appart psychologically at every opportunity he got. Artemis tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “Ah, yes, chemistry. That was Sophomore year, wasn’t it?” Mr. Phyll had retired the summer before Artemis’s Junior year.

“It was, indeed.” Danny smirked. “I sat at the back left table. I’m sure you remember.”

Artemis remembered. The back left table was quite infamous for causing the most chaos, getting the most cheers from the class, and getting the most screams from Mr. Phyll.

“Of course. Though, I sat in the front I believe.” He had. Artemis sat right next to the teacher’s desk, letting his eyes bore into Mr. Phyll’s skull until he was a nervous wreck.

Artemis fully understood then. Danny had been a hero to anyone who happened to know anything about Mr. Phyll; but, everyone, teachers and students alike, had been terrified of Artemis. The two men were perfectly at odds with each other. It would have been almost funny if Danny had not been a close friend of the person Artemis was quickly becoming infatuated with. Speaking of Tanya, they were looking between Artemis and Danny wearing an expression of utter bafflement, as was everyone else.

Artemis decided to end the conversation. “Well, it was certainly nice seeing you again.” He said. As predicted, Danny did not feel the need to respond to this statement. Artemis spent the rest of the dinner gathering information rather than taking in conversation.

He learned that Danny was dating a very handsome young man called Ben. Marna was dating a rather pale young woman with thick glasses and an unusually large nose named Lacie. There was large and good-natured young man called Even who was dating a round-faced person named Ve, who, based on the number of ‘gender is fake’ jokes they threw around with Tanya, was most likely nonbinary. There was a beautiful brunette named Laura who started her meal flirting with Juliet, but eventually they settled into friends conversation about sports instead. Everyone at the table seemed to be on first name terms with the waitress, who was called Kimberly. Adande kept smiling towards Marna and Lacie while they spoke quietly to one another. Artemis smiled too, recognizing the proud look he and Juliet often gave his brothers. The group seemed perfectly put together. He felt like an intruder.

Artemis emerged from his trance at the sound of his name. “Artemis and I were talking about that class earlier. He said something like, you’ve got to have the awareness of what others in the field are doing so that you know what you want to emulate; but, also so you know what will grab people’s attention in a way no one else’s work will.” Tanya said. “Isn’t that right?”

“Yes, exactly.” Artemis smiled. “There’s value on both sides. So, regardless of your point of view, you gain something from the class.” He had no idea what class they were talking about.

However, his answer seemed to be enough for Lacie who smiled enthusiastically. “That’s exactly what I was saying, because…” The girl’s voice trailed off and her eyes locked with something behind Artemis.

He turned and saw a tall young woman standing in the doorway. She wore a ratty flannel, dark jeans, and a determined look in her eyes. She walked straight up to their booth without acknowledging any of the employees. “Tanya, Dominic has been asking about you. We haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been.”

Tanya looked aghast. “I have a job, Bella. What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to take you home.” the woman, apparently Bella, said. “We miss you. Come home with me.” Her eyes were blank, but her words sounded sincere.

Artemis looked around at Tanya. They looked somewhat shocked. “Come… why? Why should I…”

“Please, honey.” Bella crooned.

Tanya took a steadying breath. Bella and Dominic were bad news; they knew that. They didn’t know exactly why their hosts were suddenly pretending to care about them; but, it couldn’t be for any good reason.

They were about to flat out refuse Bella and trust the very public setting to discourage her from lashing out. But, then, Tanya saw Artemis’s worried and confused look as he glanced between Tanya and their sister.

Tanya sighed and slowly got to their feet. “Yes, alright. We were just about done here anyway.”

“Tanya?” Danny hissed.

“It’s fine.” Tanya smiled. “I’ll see you guys later.”


End file.
